It's a nice day to start again.

I have such a massive love / hate / love relationship with weddings, even when attending just as a guest. I love dressing up, but always stress massivly over what to wear. Goodness knows what I would do if by some miracle I found myself having to be a bride; I think my brain would explode from sartorial fear and angst, and perhaps from a corset several sizes too small.

I do love the emotional journey that you share with the couple on the day, but hate the hangover that comes with the free bar the next morning. And why is it that you ladder your stockings the second you step out of the car? Always, always, always, without fail. The flowers always seem to be aimed at you, just after a break up, the best man will hit on you just after you've got back together, and so it goes on. Weddings are stress filled endurances which one must spend most of the summer training for. That's what the hen nights are for, yes? For the training...

Photographing a wedding however is something else. Regardless of whether it's a friend or stranger, I will spend most of the day silently hoping that I don't throw up over my shoes with nerves. I won't eat the day before just because of this, it's that bad. It's even worse when you're shooting for someone who you care about as it's not like a shoot in the studio; you can't just rebook the models and lights and start all over again. Having spent a good few years as a lab-monkey processing films, I've seen too many fogged, under and over exposed negatives come back as the remains of someone's "professional" memories for their special day, and have felt so much second hand fear for them having to plead their case to their clients. But I feel even worse for the clients who are dependent on just the disposable cameras / digital point and shoots belonging their friends.

Luckily I've managed to avoid this so far, and with each wedding I shoot, I always swear that it's going to be my last. And then, I see the reactions of the couple when they get the photos back, and my heart melts. Dam you sentimentality. Dam you. I think partly it's nice being involved in the process of the couple's special day; I've always known that the closest I'll get to being married is being the six year old child running around with a length of curtain thrown over my head, and that's fine with me as I've never really seen myself as the sort of girl who ever would. But because of this, it's nice to help compile the memories of those less vow-shy, and no matter how much I insist the weeks of post-wedding editing, and lead up nerves are... I'll always do it again when asked, no matter if I've said that the previous one was the last.

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